Mais um dia

 Mais uma discussão, unilateral por vias de dúvida.
 Como sempre, quando se ouve o que não quer, porque não gosta, palavras fogem por entre dentes, proferidas num tom mais que audível, cuspidas inevitavelmente pela perda de chão.
 Mas falemos do que vim aqui escrever. A discussão terminou com um bater de portas repercutida por uma frase, diferida no espaço, querendo dar continuidade ao diálogo sem sentido.
Porém, depois do sucedido, instalou-se o silêncio... Nem o ar se movia, as testemunhas do ato não se pronunciaram  por falta de ousadia, por concordarem com o que foi dito ou talvez me julguem em mente.
 Nada disso importa.
 As minhas convicções mantiveram-se firmes e isso vale mais que tudo.

Mar

Venho de longe, Procuro o correto, Porém, afogo-me neste mar incerto.

Tão incerto se tornou, Que à vida renunciei. Afundo, agora, lentamente nestas águas tão enegrecidas, Onde a pouca luz vai desaparecendo.

O mar tanto dá, como tira, Traiçoeiro, como a natureza humana, Ataca quando menos se espera.

Eu perdi a batalha. Eu perdi a fé. Eu perdi a vontade. Eu perdi a humanidade. Eu perdi a vida.

Não achei, o que em vida procurei. Vencido pelas dificuldades, desisti. Nesta vida amaldiçoada, Vivi em sociedades sem espírito. Amordaçado, acorrentado parti em busca do meu destino.

Que fortuna fora a minha?

It's Hard.

It’s hard.

I can only complain right now.

I’m feeling like a stressful idiot girl. I have so much stuff do deal right now.  For me, it’s becoming really hard. It has been so upsetting, I’m really, really annoyed. I have to prioritize, first school, then work, and finally, my family.

But the school issues have really becoming to stress me out, the SAT’s my high school grades, and the urging need of a scholarship. Alone, I can’t pay for my studies, I need to get a job and a scholarship. I only wanted to be independent, because, family issues are mind-blowing me.

The fact that living in this house is becoming impossible is also getting into my brain.

ALL is really getting me of rails and I just have to get back on my track. It’ll be pretty hard, but then again I kind of need it for my wellbeing, especially when it comes to my sanity.

And yes. I’m writing in English, don’t know how, or even why, I just feel like it. And sometimes it’s easier to express my feelings in another language or form because… I don’t know the reason, nevertheless, I know I shouldn't complain, everyone has a though time, and some people have even bigger problems that my own.

Despite that terrible faith, we should all express ourselves, and get over it. We can’t relate our problems with the world, everyone’s different, in all the way’s possible. And for that, we all have diverse ways to deal with stuff, then again, we need to focus, one thing at a time, if we want to succeed. Right now, I’m talking to you, person who I don’t know, and possibly never will. Even so, I know you can relate some of your issues with my own, or to what I’m writing. I just wanted to let you know that everything’s going to be all right, and that’s the most joyful truth in the world, just believe in you, and you capacity’s/skills.

I talk a lot, sometimes, I just wander in circles, getting out at some point and returning to it with the same knowledge.

I hope you don’t mock me, I’m not part of as English country, and what I’m writing, it’s from the heart and from what I´ve learned.

I’m just trying to realize me, and with that, giving you the opportunity to remember that you’re not alone. Senior year is the most stressful but the most rewarding, it’s the time where you have to grow up, and gain a painful but important understanding of the world, and by that I mean all the atrocities you’ll have to face, and all the slaps that the world will give you. You’ll fall countless times, but even then, remember, you can deal with it. Approach your problems with you head held high and a smile, and it’ll be fine.

For all this mumbling I am sorry. Even so, I’m grateful you read all that, and that in some point made you realize something. I know I’m just talking with my mouth full, but at some point I may be right, keep that in mind. So… I’ll be dealing with all my problems and I’ll conquer them, definitely. So smile, and conquer yours too, I’ll be cheering for you, even if you think you are alone. I’m standing right next to you. Me, and all the teenagers who are facing some teen related problem.